COVID-19 has not affected this enterprise as it is deemed essential.
I will enjoy this beer in my apartment, alone. I’ll have the shades drawn and be watching a show I really don’t like. Probably Scrubs or Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Probably both. It’ll be hard to know what’s going on since I refuse to turn down Enya’s ‘Sail Away,’ which plays on repeat when I’m at home.
I will take my time drinking this beer and not because I’m savoring it. I’ll put it down somewhere and forget about it. I don’t have a large apartment but each corner is like its own little Marvel universe.
Oh. Are those tears of joy I’m sobbing? No, not quite, but I'm gonna have a good time.
To enjoy this luxury beer I will head to a pub, probably on a Tuesday right after they open so I can avoid crowds. After sampling every beer on tap, I’ll order the beer you’ve paid for based on NAME rather than style, ABV, taste, or even personal preference.
Then I've got two jokes that I always tell and I will tell the bartender both of them — one joke immediately after the other. They’ll seem uncomfortably rehearsed, and that’s because they are. If the bartender is nice enough to force a chuckle I’ll be too dizzy with nerves to notice. I will finish the beer with my eyes closed, drowning in awkward silence.
Another successful evening, another great time.