DONATE GOOD TIMES
DONATE GREAT TIMES
I will enjoy this beer in my apartment, alone. I’ll have the shades drawn and be watching a show I don’t like. Probably  The Last Man on Earth  or  Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt . Probably both.  I will take my time drinking this beer — not because I’m savoring it but because I’ll put it down somewhere and forget about it. I don’t have a large apartment but each corner is like its own little world.  I'm gonna have a good time.

I will enjoy this beer in my apartment, alone. I’ll have the shades drawn and be watching a show I don’t like. Probably The Last Man on Earth or Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Probably both.

I will take my time drinking this beer — not because I’m savoring it but because I’ll put it down somewhere and forget about it. I don’t have a large apartment but each corner is like its own little world.

I'm gonna have a good time.

To enjoy this beer I will head to a pub, probably on a Tuesday right after they open so I can avoid crowds. I will ask for a 'sample-pour' of every single beer on tap before ordering the one you paid for. I call this sampling maneuver the ‘Poor Man’s Flight.’ Ultimately I’ll choose my beer based on name rather than style or ABV.  To complete the social experience, I've got two jokes that I always tell and I will tell the bartender both of them — one joke immediately after the other. They’ll seem uncomfortably rehearsed and that’s because they are. If the bartender is nice enough to force a chuckle I’ll be too dizzy with nerves to notice. I will finish the beer with my eyes closed in complete awkward silence.  It'll be a great time.

To enjoy this beer I will head to a pub, probably on a Tuesday right after they open so I can avoid crowds. I will ask for a 'sample-pour' of every single beer on tap before ordering the one you paid for. I call this sampling maneuver the ‘Poor Man’s Flight.’ Ultimately I’ll choose my beer based on name rather than style or ABV.

To complete the social experience, I've got two jokes that I always tell and I will tell the bartender both of them — one joke immediately after the other. They’ll seem uncomfortably rehearsed and that’s because they are. If the bartender is nice enough to force a chuckle I’ll be too dizzy with nerves to notice. I will finish the beer with my eyes closed in complete awkward silence.

It'll be a great time.